I spend an hour and a half navigating the twelve mile distance between my house and the audition location. Once I arrive at the location, with just ten minutes till the audition, I drive aimlessly in circles, searching for an open parking space. Now, with only two minutes to spare, I park my car in a 'permit required' zone, cross my fingers, and dart into the building. And after a fifty- two second audition, (slate, profiles, 'catchy one liner' and/ or ridiculous physical gesture,) a parking ticket sits mockingly on my dashboard.
The whole commercial audition process is relatively degrading… Firstly, you have the limited parking options of either A, paying exorbitant amounts on public parking for a potential 4 seconds of fame, or B, donating to the local economy via a parking ticket. Next, for a majority of commercial auditions, preparation consists of locating your barcode… I repeat, B-A-R-C-O-D-E. With the car situated and a barcode in hand, you wait in a room with fifteen other ridiculously attractive individuals, their families, and their families' families, all vying for the same role. Finally, after you've successfully counted all the lines on the floor three times through, and received a personal history of the child sitting to your right, the intern calls your name.
The audition plays out as such: you enter a room, hand the camera man your barcode, and hit the mark on the floor. The camera man scans your barcode, then instructs you to engage in an activity, i.e: improvisational bathroom activity. On this note, ladies, do not, i repeat, do NOT pretend to brush your teeth… you will get a callback, but for all the wrong reasons! You then slate your name, give your profiles, "brush your hair," and exit the room in under a minute. Slightly bewildered by the rapidity of your audition, you travel back to your vehicle… but can't remember where you parked it.
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