A Rant: Drama Mammas

I intern at a talent agency, and today, I witnessed a six year old child projectile vomit on the elite head of the company.  This episode occurred in five beats and is, undeniably, the highlight of my in- office experience thus far: First, the premiere talent agent introduced himself to both the child and his guardian.  Second, the guardian, with an affectionate guise, placed her hands upon the child's shoulders and forced the child into a seated position.  Third, the agent asked the for the child's name, and extended his hand .  Four, the unresponsive child turned a watermelon pink, and the agent asked for a name once again.  Five, the child opened his mouth, and a perfect trajectory of vom spewed from his tiny mouth, bathing the agent from head to toe.  

The guardian, in forcing her child into the entertainment industry, effectively objectified and emasculated the kid, who was not extended an offer for representation, and was quickly escorted out of the office by said drama mamma. 

Drama mammas: a group of sexually frustrated and peri-menopausal women who, after relinquishing their goals and dreams in pursuit of familial incentives, live vicariously through their children.  Spotted occupying the local coffee shops off the corner of Hollywood and Highland, and the casting offices on Ivar and Formosa, these women force… persuade their children, with candy incentives, to pursue acting careers.  I oftentimes encounter these women prior to casting sessions, as I enter an office and they follow behind me, hand in hand with child, dragging the thing through the door like an object on leash.  

There are two types of drama mammas: the first comprised of mothers who, disillusioned by some fantasy of fame and wealth, push their children into the entertainment industry.  The second group includes the braggarts, who, at auditions, chat relentlessly about their child's successes, or lack- there- of.  I find both sets equally obnoxious, and valiantly avoid such women at all costs.  But, to no avail, I encounter such women on a daily basis.

Mothers undeniably have their child's best interests at heart, but let me enlighten you: being obnoxious does not lend itself to success, intimidation tactics don't work, and if your child detests this business, then by all means don't force the child into it!  So moms, congrats on birthing the kid- now let it live a little independently.